Funny interview questions

August 1, 2013

If you’d want to annoy an interviewer after one of their “original” questions.
Here are some ideas, feel free to come up with your own…

1. If you were to win £1 million what would you do with the money?
Buy this company.
2. What do you think is the most useful function in Excel?
The exit button.
3. What makes you happy about work on a Friday evening?
That there is no work on Friday evening.
4. How do you fit a giraffe in a fridge?
You cut into tiny pieces until it stops struggling. Then fit each piece in the fridge.
5. What is it about this job you would least look forward to?
Your face.
6. If you were the Head of Barclays Corporate what would your strategy be with the recent European Crisis?
Stop interfering.
7. If your friend was seriously injured and you had to get him to a hospital, would you speed and go through a red light?
8. Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?
100 ducks. I would stamp on each one with my foot. Their little bodies would be squashed like a grape.
9. Tell me about a time when you failed at something.
Why do you claim I ever failed at anything?
10. What are the three words that your parents would describe you with?
My parents died last month in a car accident due to a drunk driver.
11. What have you done in the past to get out of a tricky situation?
My fist, his face.
12. Why is 99% not good enough?
It’s one percent you haven’t got.
13. How many ways can you get a needle out of a haystack?
This doesn’t look like a correct sentence to me.
14. How would you explain Facebook to your Grandma?
Take a book and hit her in the face.
15. If you entered into a room full of people with different interests, what would you do?
Walk out?
16. What do you mean by ‘leadership’?
I’m the boss.
17. By what criteria do you judge your own performance?
By my own.
18. Which football team do you support?
The one showing my company’s logo.
19. What is the main thing that gets you out of bed each morning?
The kids…
20. Describe the hardest decision you have faced in the past 12 months.
Shoot the wife or the dog?
21. Who is your biggest hero?
Chuck Norris.
22. Give me an example of your extreme levels of tenacity.
I’m still here after 22 of your stupid questions.
23. In a fight between a lion and a tiger, who would win & why?
Lions and tigers live in different areas and would not encounter one another.
24. How would your delegates describe you?
The boss.
25. Do you think the quality of our menswear products are as high as our home department products?
“high” is not how I would describe it.

Programming addiction

August 1, 2013

===========Programming addiction====================

A web developer proposed his lady:
“You’re the CSS to my HTML”
“You’re the servlet to my server”
“You’re the CDN to my website”
“Without you, everything is incomplete…”
“Will you marry me?”